lc: July 2009

Here at LC's Sunset Emporium, we provide
substitutes for sentiment that would interfere
with your cold-blooded
appreciation of the Boston Red Sox
We offer various models, and various price points, designed to mask, sublimate and obscure your attachment to
one player or another.

EXCLUSIVE

New Today!!!

Nancy At Leisure

Free

Also New Today

My Team Sucks
[Welcome to the Dump]

Price: My Sanity

PRE-ORDERS AVAILABLE NOW
THERE GOES THE SEASON

Due to Ship on or about August 5, 2009
[shipping date moved up]

With the unique LC Rental Sunset, you need care less about the
emotional, psychosocial or physical
impact that your discomfort over the performance of a given Red Sox player
will create.

We have products for all budgets.

Specials weekly, unless we get bored with this.

NEW THIS WEEK

The Fan

Push her Off, Put Her Out of Her Misery

Price: patience

Da Bronx

Price: $10,000 a seat.

Enjoy it MFYanx Fans

The Smoltz

Pick up you clubs on the way out, pal.
Thanks for coming

Kotsay (aka The Goat)

Mark, we hardly knew ye.

PRIOR OFFERINGS.
UNFORTUNATELY, MOST OF THESE ARE STILL AVAILABLE

The Bullpen

Gas Can Attachment Included

Price: 72 era

The Wild Card

For those of you who think one game doesn't make a difference.

Price: $11.10

The Lowell

(Havana never looked so good)

Price: Negotiable

STANDARD FARE

The LUGO

[and, thanks to Nat]

Price: Prorated

The Nats Stadium Prize Pack

[discontinued for lack of interest]

Pretty Inspiring, huh?

One Night Price: $.07 for every Non-Red Sox fan in the shiny ballyard

Offer expires Thursday at the end of the animated Racing Presidents' Game on the
Big Honkin' Jumbotron